Bike

I always like doing these things – they are a bit therapeutic. Oh the personal life…….

So what happens when you find yourself getting sick about every six months? Do you go to the Doctor? Well – I need to. I am good at logic problems though and finding patterns.

To jump around a bit – working for yourself by yourself is hard. I think working for yourself with an employee is even harder. It doesn’t have to be that hard. Working for yourself is a constant battle to:

1.  Be relevant. You always need to learn new job skills. Software changes and life changes.
2. Find Clients. You’d be amazed how hard it is to find clients at times.
3. Remain Sane. You wouldn’t be amazed to find that some days I’m on the edge of Sanity.
4. Be All you can Be. You really want to be everything to everyone because B. You want new clients and you hate to turn away work.
5. Pay Bills. Life is expensive.

The kicker is “don’t make it a battle”. Maybe I need to work around people more. So – partnerships………..Surround yourself with people smarter than you. That’s covered a couple of posts back.

So to jump back to getting sick. I’m known for my timely or untimely outbursts. This has happened for years. Back in 2014/2013 I noticed a pattern to me getting sick and  irritable and it was a problem. It happened every six months (or close to it). After the last incident in 2015 I actually wrote down everything I had eaten each time and discovered “Hamburger meat” was a commonality. I also started looking and noticed each time I was going for a big greasy hamburger I was stressed out of my mind. This Spring I snapped again and flew all over someone – actually it happened twice. I’ve always been plagued with that issue. I take about all I can take and “Snap”. I hate it. I don’t enjoy it. It happens and I disappear for a week or so and collect myself. I changed my diet. I started watching what I did eat and things that happened in my life.

What I did find in my patterns and the normal day to day stresses….I stopped taking care of myself. Dehydration. Stress. Irritability. It took about 5 to 6 months for me to forget the lessons of 5 to 6 months ago. So I made a list and stuck it to my computer and when I found I was getting irrationally angry or erratic – get up and walk away. Drink some water. Chill. Guess what – no more getting sick. Actually we’re on a marathon of “not snapping” at people. You would think this would have clicked at some point in the last 8 years. It didn’t.

I even started saying “No”. I learned the power of no this year. I found that something that made me even more irritable and annoyed was doing crap I didn’t want to do. So I just said “No”. The no even extended into Clients. If someone approached me with a job and the job looked absolutely brutal? “No.”

So then I sat down and went “Why don’t I do fun things for me anymore? Is this everything I need to be doing?”.

I got my very old bicycle out of the junk room and one tire later – I’m back on the road. Actually now I’m a helmet, a wheel rebuild, two lights, and a lot of miles behind me. I wore a tire out this summer. Granted the tire was about half worn out to start with BUT – I wore a tire out. I’m about to wear the front one out.

Canoeing? Yes. I’ve got a canoe. I was always waiting for the epic trip. Lets paddle 14 miles and eat sandwiches and be manly men. Actually – there’s enough paddling around my house I can be in the water in 20 minutes.  Sometimes it was only an hour. Sometimes four hours. I start and end at the same place. It is pleasant. Nothing like paddling to put your mind at ease. One new life jacket later and I’m back into the canoeing gig.

Throw in some assorted hiking and you know what – I’m spending less time at work. If I’m spending less time at work how am I finding clients? Well……..I found that the 8 hours I was spending at work was more productive. If I’m spending less time sitting in front of a computer how am I remaining relevant and learning new skills? I squeeze it in where I can. With a better attitude I’m not killing myself everyday. I might even *gasp* take a day off if my schedule allows it.

I also started going to a mobile food pantry and helping hand out groceries once a month. There are a lot of people that need help. One time not terribly long ago I needed help. So I return the favor.

So out of all of this……You know what – I don’t feel like I’m about to choke someone. You could even go so far as to say “You’re halfway pleasant to be around” but I don’t want to push it. Less time at work and I’m actually better for the time I am at work. Amazing? I think so.

The one big killer this year – well two: Miso and Stitch. Two long time companions left me due to age and sickness. Both are sorely missed. Stitch  was always left in charge when I had to travel. She was missing an eye from an injury as a kitten. Named Stitch after the Disney Movie Lilo and Stitch because if it could be broken – she would break it.

Miso was a whole different animal. Extremely small so she slept at my desk. She pretty much lived at my desk for the last 6 years. Her not being here is troubling most times. When I lived in Athens Georgia I was so concerned about Miso I would toss her in the car with me and off we would go for meetings. I would arrange a cat sitter somewhere and she got to travel quite a bit. She loved being in the car for some odd reason.

I know what you’re saying “It’s just a stupid cat(s)”. True but Good friends all the way around. Those are in short supply these days.

Although I’m ending this on a sad note – you know what. I sorta enjoyed 2016. Losing weight and getting more active and figuring out what makes me tick is a good thing. Yes at 45 I’m still figuring out what makes me tick.

Do I have all the answers? No. Is work still stressful? Yes. Do you still get irritated? Of Course. I just deal with it better than I was. Actually I wasn’t dealing with it at all. Now I am.

Hmmmmmm – whats next. Ohhhhhh lets do Social Media.